An Introduction

Appropriately enough, I will begin this collection of incoherent rants and complaints by expressing my disdain for collections of incoherent rants and complaints. In today's society, it seems the best way to appear intelligent is to pick apart harmless parts of everyday life, dissect them, destroy them, berate them and then defecate on their shallow graves. If another person writes a “biting” review of why they hate Crocs, Soulja Boy or global warming skeptics, I will personally enlist Soulja Boy to enter there home wearing nothing but Crocs and point out that the atmosphere has been fluctuating throughout history and we aren't all necessarily damned to an incredibly slow, watery death.

So of course, me being the healthily self-assured man that I am, I decided that I could be the savior to satire writing everywhere, which I undoubtedly am. So, in a move that hipsters would describe as “so ironic” in between puffs of their clearly unhealthy cigarette and sips of their mocha-latte-vanilla-decaf-venti-cappa-frappacino, I am going to follow my prelude satire about satire with more satire about other things. Confused? Then just say I'm being artsy.